wade wilson had been married before, but waking up to realize his other half had gone and married wanda maximoff without him realizing it was cause for excitement (and maybe a little fear given not only who her father was but who she was). they were still in their rhode island hotel room, where he'd drank too much the night before while throwing singles at strippers with harper, which meant he couldn't get up and cook breakfast like he usually could. or could he?
he rummaged through his bags, and, sure enough, his teleporter was stashed inside of a pair of socks. he jumped up and down in excitement before teleporting back to his kitchen in boston to whip up his usual batch of pancakes. by the time he'd returned, his witchy wife had disappeared into the shower, but she hadn't left the room in a disappearing act. that was a good sign.
wade was never certain how to act around wanda, unsure if she'd kiss him or warp him into another reality or alter his morality like that one time he went all zen for no apparent reason, so he just ate his pancakes in peace instead of joining her in the shower like the guy inside his head wanted to. no amount of shower sex was worth the risk of becoming zenpool again.
when she joined him ten minutes later, she accepted the pancakes but made no move to be affectionate. wade sat next to her, humming the lyrics of do you wanna touch me?, the current song stuck in his head after having texted it to rogue in response to her questioning if she could touch him to see if her powers were in effect.
"so, i'm married to deadpool," wanda said, interrupting him in the middle of the chorus. when he wriggled his eyebrows at her and made a joke about hanky panky, she sent him flying across the room.
"so, i'm just gonna go check on my bestie rogue, you good?"