What's the best advice you've ever been given? don't go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. seriously, don't do it. you always end up spending more money. What's the best advice you've ever given to someone else? i like to think it was, "stop worrying what other people think. you'll be happier that way," but i could be wrong. During a long day, what's your default pick-me-up? on those days i didn't get enough sleep the night before, coffee. otherwise? my pets. What are three of your hobbies? i like to play video games and enjoy cooking. i also apparently collect pets. that's three, right? since gabe never answered these, 'cause i was late, i'm reusing them. hope you don't mind sloppy seconds... wow, gabe. shame, shame, shame. fuck, marry, kill: cersei lannister, the borg queen, jar jar binks. fuck cersei, marry the borg queen, kill jar jar binks. would you rather have to watch a hologram of your parents having sex or make out with a clone of yourself? i would totally make out with a clone of myself. what are your top three fictional characters crushes? change is part of life. survival of the fittest, right? you adapt or you die. who would win in a fist fight, han solo or captain kirk? han solo is good with a gun, sure, but kirk is the king of fist fights. i think he'd win. would you rather be a wizard or a jedi? this is the most difficult question i have ever been asked. i want a light saber, so i choose jedi. would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck? one horse-sized duck. i think i'd stand a better chance. if you were an animal for a day what would you be? a cat. i'd really like to know what goes through their evil little heads. how many times have you ran from trouble? as a former cop, i tend to run towards trouble. even now. do you like extreme sports? i like watching them, but i've never thought to participate. i'd probably be a good quidditch player, though. is there a motto that you say but don't live by? if you can think it, be it. i'm still not an spy like james bond, so... what's your favorite ice cream? ben & jerry's phish food or rocky road. when will you be adding piglets to your farm? do i get to come and pick out said piglets and help you name them? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M GOOD WITH NAMES. there is no other person in the world i'd want helping me choosing. what hidden talents do you have? i know how to juggle. a guy in college taught me. if you weren't in your current job, what would you like to do professionally? play video games? getting paid to do my other favorite hobby would be amazing. what are you most afraid of and why? cows, and i don't even know why. i vaguely remember being attacked by a group of them once. are you allergic to anything? not that i know of. what are the top three things you want to mark off your bucket list? 1) visit every country in the world (within reason).
2) meet jeff goldblum.
3) watch turtles hatch on the beach and go back into the ocean. if you were elected president, who would be your running mate? jeff goldblum. what do you look for in the opposite sex? asking for a friend. a good sense of humor is very important. chemistry and common interests, too. looks are secondary to personality traits, but petite blondes are agréable. what dreamphone boy is your soulmate? You got: Wayne! Wayne's a beach boy who loves surfing and striped swim trunks. Which means he's adventurous and unafraid of bold color combinations. if you had one billion dollars, what would be your first purchase? a yacht. so i can reinact "i'm on a boat". what is your ALL TIME FAVORITE POKEMON? speaking of, if you're going to play sun or moon, who will be your starter? litten looks super badass, but i think i'm gonna go with popplio. favorite video game franchise? let it be known that this is a really tough question. tie between mass effect and resident evil. is the cake actually a lie? yes, glados is a filthy liar. and she killed our companion cube. what is 42? the answer to life, the universe, and everything, duh. favorite story from r/NoSleep? borrasca, thanks to isla. what's one of your biggest regrets? not quitting the police force sooner. why are you so good looking? maybe he's born with it, maybe it's maybelline? what's your favorite dish to cook? honestly, i love cooking pancakes or waffles. you can go about it in so many different ways. you can cover them with fruits, use syrup, or if you're feeling risky, crumble up bacon and eggs and mix it into the batter (10/10 would recommend you try this). what kind of threat do you pose to the public? i am public enemy #1. just kidding, it's probably very minimal. if you got arrested, what would you want it to be for? trespassing on public property. when was the last time that you did something illegal? last friday. describe your *ideal date*. something laid back. cooking dinner instead of going out. watching a movie or playing a video/board game. teleporting off to another country is a possibility, but it's not a requirement. can i take you on your ideal date? i accept. congratulations! you are gifted with the power of invisibility. where do you go first? to kings cross station to see if platform 9 3/4 really does exist. how do you look when you dance? what is your favorite movie quote? "life moves pretty fast. if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." If you're in hell and you're pissed at someone - where do you tell them to go? to a deeper circle of hell or maybe puragtory. why is canadian bacon a thing? because of americans, as is usually the case. If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? the pun is strong with this one. can an exorcist send the spirit back in? has that ever been done? What is a picture of a thousand words worth? i don't know, a thousand words? what is your biggest pet peeve? animal cruelty or even people who treat their pets like a burden. they only have a few years on this planet compared to us. who would you rather be: the beatles or the rolling stones? the rolling stones. the beatles have had it rough. how tired of questions are you? only slightly. these have been pretty fun questions. would you ever do one of those man vs. food challenges? i would totally do something like this. i'm not afraid of a hot pepper. does she have the booty? what pokemon would you raise in real life? growlithe, probably. what point of interest in boston would be your poke-gym and who would you want to battle in front of a crowd of thousands to become the leader? the pyramid in the boston harbor, and i would so want to battle gabe and tycho from penny arcade. what makes you tick? a desire to win. is there anything you wouldn't do for love? i wouldn't do that. has anyone from the present reminded you of someone from the past? i get weird feelings of deja vu with people all the time. maybe i knew them in a past life too. what are you grateful for? right now? air conditioning. if you could have one superpower, what would it be? being able to fly would be pretty cool. what's your favorite video game? i could never choose one specific game, but if i did, maybe resident evil 2. do you know any magic tricks? i can disappear into thin air. who do you admire most? this is a blanket answer but anyone who has defied the odds placed on them and done better than society/people thought possible. what's your favorite junk food? nacho cheese doritos. have you ever met anyone that is infamous? once or twice. do you believe in horoscopes? i think there's some accuracy in them, but i don't live my life by them. what is your least favorite sport? golf. it's so slow. who's the best villain of all time? seriously? darth vader.