ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴛʏ sᴘᴏᴛʟɪɢʜᴛ

Tell me the 3 best things about you. i'm a killer chef. i've also been told that i'm hilarious and have a great sense of fun. On a scale of 1-10, how strict are/were your parents? probably like 2-3, at least with me. it wasn't that they were chill and awesome, it was that they didn't care. Who was your worst teacher? Why? i had this math teacher in primary school that liked to slap us with rulers. not very canadian if you ask me. Who was your favorite teacher? Why? a history teacher in junior high. he was the first person i met that made learning fun. Which would you pick: being world-class attractive, a genius or famous for doing something great? famous for doing something great, duh, although being attractive is a close second. Who are the 3 greatest living musicians? elton john, dave grohl, and since no one can tell me composers don't count: john williams. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? probably nothing. What was your favorite toy growing up? the super nintendo. Name 3 celebrities you most admire. jeff goldblum, nicholas cage, and ryan reynolds. Name a celebrity you think is lame. president cheeto. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been? in lieu of making a sexual joke about my wife, japan was gorgeous. What are your 3 favorite movies? shaun of the dead, the original halloween, and empire strikes back. How would you describe me to your friends? you're the saner, female version of me. Which historical figure would you like to be? hercules mulligan. what a badass. What’s the right age to get married? whenever the hell you want to. Tell me 3 things you remember about kindergarten. naptime, timeout, and this weird kid who liked to hoard glue. What would you do if you were invisible for a day? see what my employees do when i'm not around. If you could time travel, where would you go? definitely not back to the time of the dinosaurs. i learned my lesson. If you could live in any TV home, what would it be? the one from fresh prince of bel-air. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? rocky road. Would you rather live for a week in the past or the future? in the recent past. think of all of financial opportunities. What’s your favorite holiday?

If you could eat only 3 foods for the rest of your life, what would they be? nachos, waffles, and pizza. think of all of the varieties. If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be? i have a lot of questions for hitler. What’s one choice you really regret? i don't really regret anything since it got me to where i am now. What’s your favorite childhood book? ender's game. What’s a great book you’ve read recently? i finally got around to reading the ice and fire books. they're so much more detailed. Do you feel like a leader or a follower? it depends on the day. If you could ask your pet 3 questions, what would they be? i'd ask goatblum why he likes to eat cardboard, radley why he keeps knocking over the trash can, and zelda why she isn't doing a better job of being ringleader. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done? i have a really long list. Who would play you in a movie of your life? the guy who already plays me: ryan reynolds. If you could be an Olympic athlete, in what sport would you compete? sword fighting. If you had to live in a different state, what would it be? florida. between the crazy people and disney, it would be perfect. What living person, other than family members, do you most admire? maybe justin trudeau. What has been your favorite family vacation? going on my honeymoon. that counts, right? If you could choose your own nickname, what would it be? d piddy. Who is the funniest person you know? roxy.

What’s your favorite thing about one of your grandparents? my grandma was a conspiracy theorist, and it was awesome. Do you ever talk to yourself? When and what do you say? all the time. i usually second guess myself. When you’re having a bad day, what do you do to make yourself feel better? i make myself some tacos or cookies or any other sort of food. Which TV family is most like your own? is there a tv family that alienated one of their kids for being hyperactive? What’s your favorite smell in the whole world? freshly baked cookies. What do you think is the greatest invention of all time? electricity, probably. Using one word, how would you describe your family? my blood relatives (save you) are awful. my new family is awesome. Would you rather win an Olympic medal, an Academy Award, or the Nobel Peace prize? the nobel peace prize. if that ever happens, we have to be close to world peace. or, you know, chaos. What’s your favorite time of day? breakfast. What’s your favorite season? fall. What’s the one food you could never bring yourself to eat? black licorice. What is the sound you love the most? the sound of rain against a roof. If you could ask the President one question, what would it be? when are you going to resign? If you could pick a new first name, what would it be? i like my name. If you had to leave earth on a spaceship and take 4 friends with you, who would they be? roxy, you, and... god daammit, i can't choose between the pets. What is your favorite movie quote? "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? they're in when i go to sleep and out when i wake up. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? no, that's what fitbits are for. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? cuban sandwiches are amazing. What’s your dream job? the one i'm working now. Cake or pie? the cake is a lie, so pie. Who is the kindest person you know? roxy. What’s the best part about having siblings? not having to speak to them anymore. What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? halloween and nightmare on elm street were pretty scary, but honestly? the strangers got to me most because of this bit. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? japan. again. What are you good at? cooking. What fictional character do you wish you could meet? nathan drake. What’s the first thing you do when you get home from a trip? let the animals dogpile on me. Would you rather spend five days exploring Disney or New York City? disney. Whose parents do/did you wish you had? yours weren't so bad compared to mine. If you could shop for free at one store, which one would you choose? amazon. What personal trait has gotten you in the most trouble? i don't think before acting or speaking sometimes. Which celebrity chef would you most like to fix you a meal? gordon ramsay. Who is your favorite athlete? serena williams is a badass. Would you rather be the most popular kid in school or the smartest kid in school? most popular. What do you like to do on a rainy day? make soup or chili, play video games, and sleep. Would you rather be the best player on a horrible team or the worst player on a great team? i wanna be the very best, like no one ever was. What is your favorite thing about the beach? building epic sandcastles. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be? japan. What is your favorite Disney movie? the lion king. Which of the Seven Dwarfs is most like you? dopey. If someone made a movie of your life would it be a drama, a comedy, a romantic-comedy, action film, or science fiction? it would be an action-comedy. As a child, what did you wish to become when you grew up? a police officer.