re: your brains
Jack Winston
to Drew

dude, it's been 84 years. i could be mad, but monks?! are you one of them now? do you have the hair cut like weird al did on that episode of galavant? because that would make it worth it. seriously, i am glad you're doing better. roxy feels the same way (and told me to tell you hi). i think it was good you got the hell out of boston. sometimes, i wish i could for the sake of the kids, but that's a whole different story. if you were somehow thinking of popping into surprise us right after sending this email, don't. it's one of those weeks again. and things were crazy last time. think fight club with shock collars and you know, not voluntary. i won't bore you with the details. besides, pretty sure if you come back, all of that shit will start affecting you again. maybe no service isn't so bad (except i cringe thinking that you haven't gotten to experience the new monster hunter yet).

but yeah, twins. we're going to have a whole fucking army if we have our way about it. i won't lie, man, it's kind of scary (who would have thought i'd ever be scared of something?) especially when you think about what goes on once a month around here. what happened last time hasn't helped, but i know we're going to be there for the kids. i kinda failed the first one and don't want that to happen with these two. we're both nervous since, like you said, we're crazy, but we're gonna do everything in our power to be good parents and give them everything they may want. it's not weird to want godfather status because we'd probably offer it to you, you know? you may not be here, but you're still my best friend.

the bar is still going, despite the flooding and explosions and everything else that tends to go wrong. believe it or not, it wasn't all because of a certain mutant. not that i know of. i've got a lot of help now, since the twins and all the other bullshit can keep me busy, but the place is in good hands. i'm still there a lot, making sure they don't fuck it up, but that place means too much to me. sucks you missed the last halloween bash. i think it was the best one yet. so if someone in greece thinks they can even compete with us, let them try. you can sue the fuck out of them if they try to steal our brand, and i'll sit stateside and laugh. with my giant army of animals and children.

do you think you'll remember that it's "our" movie by the time it comes out? i hope so because i would love nothing more than to bash tj miller with you. he doesn't do you justice, bro.

i hope you end up somewhere with better internet. that's like oxygen to you, right? germany should be good for that. maybe you can catch up on all of the other shit you missed while mingling with the monks. roxy can teleport, yeah. we're actually headed to hawaii for a little r&r (after everything that happened, we kind of need it), and then we're going to dive into fixing the house for the twins. 20 weeks to go, dude. can you believe it? sucks that you lost your teleporter, but i think we can pop into visit. let me know where and how long you'll be there.

stay safe. don't do anything i wouldn't do. and yes, i know those statements are contradictory. talk to you soon (hopefully).

- jack


On February 10, 2018 at 5:43:16 AM EST, Drew Powers wrote:

JACK ATTACK!!!!

Your email comes at an awesome time, I finally have service! So...really you sent it months ago and I am only answering it now but, I'M HERE NOW. This whole "walk around the world to find myself" bullshit is actually really good for me, but dammit I am going crazy without service or WiFi or anything else. I travelled with a few monks a month ago, so I've been going through all these amazing locations and monasteries, you'd kill to see it. (Come to think of it, you might have already!) But seriously, dude, wish you were here and I mean it. It's fucking beautiful. I am heading to civilization again pretty soon depending on a few factors, so I'll make sure to head to Boston for a few days. Though...maybe not during one of those crazy weeks, so give me a heads up when those are, I can't seem to sense them anymore. Taking that as a good sign, a lot of those memories are fading now. Weird. I'd say I gotta science the fuck out of that, but eh, I'm sure there's some annoying science assholes back there doing it all for me. And I'm not exactly put out that I'm losing all of Weasel's memories. ANYWAY.

Sorry it's taken months for me to get back to you (see aforementioned I have no fucking service, help comment), but jesus fuck man, twins? I can't believe it, you and Roxy are turning into your own damn Brady Bunch! You know, but instead of a million kids, it's a million animals and two kids and two adult crazypants superhumans. So, you know, it's close. But still, you two crazy people, having twins, those are going to be the most loved kids (and most protected, honestly) in the fucking world. So happy for you guys, and I can't wait to meet the crazy offspring. Is it weird that I want godfather status? If only that I can actually act out that scene in The Godfather? Maybe.

How's the bar going? Is that still a thing? Someone in Greece had mentioned they wanted to do a bar like ours (well, they didn't mention ours by name because of course not, but you know, the ideaIn Another Castle and I might have told them they'd get sued if they did, and they looked at me weird because I can understand Greek but I can't speak it yet, so I was just a crazy person rambling to them in English. So, you know, nothing new. Oh! And when I was in Japan recently, I hung out with some of the Overwatch pros? Those fuckers are so god damned good, it's not fair! But you know, that was months ago, before I decided to met up with the monks and then...you know, months of dead air. I miss the Internet.

I'll at least make sure I'm home to see the new movie with you, because really, I feel like it'd be a sin if I didn't see it with you, it's our movie after all! Well, your movie, with me with a bit part, but I'm still down with it if you are. I still hate TJ Miller, but hey, I can deal with it for being a part of history.

Write back soon, dude. Hopefully I'll be somewhere with service for a while. I'm heading to Germany next, so I'm gonna get set up there. Once I'm all good, come teleport in for a while, could use some company. I Think that's where I'll be for a few months now, I rented a house there...okay, lies it's a fucking castle, so come visit when you can. Is Roxy able to teleport with the babies? I don't have my teleporter anymore either, everything disappeared when I left Boston so if I could, I'd port back to you guys. If not, send her my love and give her a hug for me. I really miss you guys.

Alright, I gotta get going, the only bus out of this station is leaving in 15 minutes, and if I'm not on it, then I need to wait until Wednesday for the next one to the airport (told you I was in the middle of nowhere).

Chat soon, try not to go too insane back in Boston. Miss you, dude.

- Drew